For a split second, a flicker of incredulity. This flashes when I see the adorned sidewalk tiles that my boots click upon as I hurry to work. Incredulity that my life has led me to this, to this spot in this city in this country in this part of the world at this very moment.
Time to jump down the rabbit hole. What’s down there? What lies on the other side? Well, vamos a ver.
Today’s rabbit hole included having a beer with the entire company at work. On a Thursday afternoon.
I’m a thinker and I’m a woman (don’t those get synonymous?), so I get to pondering the course of these things. You know..the what-am-I -doing-with-my-life, what are my goals, those almighty questions of life, etc., etc., et freaking cetera. And contemplating what lies on the other side.
Sometimes you take a long moment to answer a question. Not because you’re thinking of the answer. A question can tell you a lot about a person; of what they think about you, what they already know, or assume, and a bit of their perspective. For example, when I was in flight, a passenger sitting next to me asked if I had any kids. Assumption of age, place in life, perspective on people and the age they should normally have kids; all this comes into play.
“Have you ever been engaged?”
When someone asks you this, what do you do? You quickly answer – cut-and-dry. I found myself thinking for a moment. I thought briefly about my dating history, my current answer to the question, and then about the future, and when and what it will feel like when I receive that question again and have a different answer. And then I answered the question.
Yep. Real normal.
You have to jump down the rabbit hole to find out what lies on the other end. You’re not really sure, but you know what you believe and hope lie on the other end. You take leaps professionally: what lies on the other side is a bazillion dollar salary – that’s right, a bazillion. (Hello, creative liberties.) My own assistant is on the other side of the rabbit hole. My own published books. My own film. My own free time to write and travel and eat. The love of my life. A stronger faith. Patience in abundance.
There’s sometimes an attitude that you encounter in other people: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” (The fact that it’s grammatically incorrect bothers me, too.) If everyone always accepts things the way they are, how would anyone improve life for the better, or offer the possibility of change? Of challenge, of adventure ? How would you have discovered that your favorite dessert is nutella on toast if you never let yourself give it a go?
Because that’s what it’s about. The nutella on toast.